Endo what?

My endo story

I talk about my uterus a lot. I’m not shy about periods, pain, or “yucky” words. I share my chronic pain story so that people don’t feel alone. I share my struggles and my experiences not for pity, but so that when a young girl is diagnosed the way I was, she doesn’t cry and feel alone and scared the way I did.

One day in March 2016 I woke up and felt off. I had some pain in my legs that just wouldn’t quit. Is been hitting the gym about 6 days a week and figured I was just sore from my squats and cardio routine. I was 20.

I lay in bed feeling unwell. I didn’t start work until later so I rested up. I had a shower and got myself ready, convinced the feeling would pass.

By the time I got to work, I was feeling pain in my legs, and my back. Without warning the pain spread and I felt cramps deep in my pelvis. Within moments, I couldn’t walk. I was in the most pain I’ve ever experienced. It was so bad that I couldn’t even scream or cry I just clenched myself up as tight as I could I to a ball.

My best friend took me to the hospital. I waited in the emergency room for what felt like an eternity. They ran blood-work, urine analysis, and took my vitals.

The pain just kept getting worse. I was begging them to give me something, anything to stop the pain.

After over and hour of sitting in the ER waiting room clenched up in a chair unable to stop wailing in pain, I got into a bed.

I was asked countless times if I was pregnant and I insisted I wasn’t. Nobody believed me. Their instant thought was that I was in labour or having a miscarriage. Thankfully my blood work was able to prove that neither of those things were the case. But what was?

An amazing, kind nurse put an iv into me and let my friend sit by my side. The pain medication started to take some effect but I was still curling up and rubbing my legs to try to make it all stop.

A doctor came in soon enough and said that he couldn’t figure out what was happening. All of my tests came back completely normal and the pain didn’t make any sense. He said he would have the nurse bring me more pain medication but he wanted to check a few more things.

Because the pain was pelvic they obviously had some questions about my sexual history. He wanted to give me a Pap test to rule out any sexual transmitted infections even though I knew it would come back totally fine. Which it did.

I was given a huge dose of pain pills. And sent home about 9 hours later.

After getting home I felt fine. My pain had almost totally subsided (thank you Morphine) I had a few bites of a sandwich and went to bed.

I was lying down watching tv feeling super groggy from the meds when a sharp pain started in my upper abdomen. I curled up in a ball and waited for it to pass. Unfortunately it spread. The pain was all of a sudden back in my legs, pelvis, back, and abdomen. I tried to yell for my roommates but I couldn’t. I crawled from my door to theirs and knocked as loud as I could. They came running. I couldn’t walk. I lay on the floor clutching my stomach and crying. They helped me into the hall, down the elevator, and into the car. We rushed to the hospital.

Basically everything happened the same way except this time they put me into a wheelchair so that I didn’t need to be carried and this time while waiting I was almost screaming through the tears. They asked the same questions as earlier I screamed at them and said nothing had changed since earlier. No I was not pregnant no I didn’t have an std no my address hasn’t changed.

I was given a pain killer cocktail that they called a pink lady along with 3 t3’s, more morphine and Advil. That in combination with everything I had taken before should have had me numb to even a touch but I still felt the pain. I stayed about an hour for observation and then was sent home again.

My parents drove from Kelowna to Vancouver the next morning. My ultra sounds were booked. I barely slept and was back at the hospital for 8am about 6 hours later.

I had the ultra sound and I waited in the ER for more results. I sat their all day waiting to here that they didn’t dons anything. I was booked in for more ultra sounds for the next day. And if that wasn’t successful I would have a CT. Which is exactly what happened.

I slept that night and got up the next day to repeat the exact same process. Waited all day again and still nothing. The doctor that had been seeing me was great. I can’t imagine working in the ER is any fun at all and super high stress. He was the first person to say the word endometriosis to me. He gave me a diagnosis that changed my life.

I left that night after days of craziness and googled everything endo. I had never heard the word before I had no idea what the doctor was even saying when he said it. All of my info came from google that night. I read definitions, blogs, web md. I watched countless videos and saw disturbing images. I learned that endo effects fertility and I cried. I learned that there is no cure and that this pain would live with me forever. I read that at 20 years old I shouldn’t have this.

If you or anyone you know has painful periods or any kind of severe pelvic pain please see a doctor! None of those symptoms are normal. Period pain should never ever be debilitating.

March 2016 changed my life. Stay tuned for more of what happened next, how endo has become my life partner, and how I cope with chronic pain.

Special shout out my amazing friend Brittany who sat by my side all day for more than 9 hours and didn’t even think about leaving. For crying with my and holding my hand during the scariest day or my entire life so far. It takes an incredible, selfless human to put themselves second in such a huge way. I love you Britt always always.

xo jess

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jessisamessonline

follow me (and my cat) I am a teacher, girlfriend, fur mamma, and endometriosis fighter. My life is messy!

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